Small
by klainbowsandbutterflyklisses
Summary: Blaine watches the rain and lets his thoughts sweep him away. He feels small inside, but when Kurt shows up, the world seems to tumble into his arms.


**Author's Note: **I wrote this while listening to a song called Not Perfect by Tim Minchin. If you don't know who he is, I strongly suggest you check his stuff out. He's first and foremost a comedian, but he's an incredibly talented lyricist and an even more amazing performer – he's been playing piano about half his life and you just have to hear the solos. Anyway, the song in question never fails to make me break down; it's an incredibly beautiful piece.

**Disklainer: **See what I did there? ;) So witty. But still, I own nothing.

Blaine felt small.

He was aware that he was quite a few inches shorter than most of his friends and was teased incessantly about it, but he felt small on the inside, too.

He was curled up on a window seat, head leaning against the window. He watched the rain beat down heavily against the glass, watched the drops trickle down in rivulets. He looked across Dalton's huge grounds, at the gray, miserable sky. He felt small.

He thought of the universe. He thought of how insignificant he was in the grand scheme of things. He pictured himself, a tiny, tiny dot floating on a small blue planet through an unfathomable amount of darkness. He thought of the stars, the sun, the planets. He thought of what else was out there, who else.

He felt small.

Sighing, he thought of his friends. David, with plans of law school. Wes, wanting to be a doctor. Kurt and his Broadway dreams. Then he thought of himself – undecided, no plans, no sense of direction. He thought of the awards, the nominations, the scholarships his friends were offered.

And in comparison, he felt small.

He wrapped his arms around his legs, drawing them up to his chest.

It was the weather that made him like this. The foul sky, the hammering rain, the occasional flash of lighting and deep roll of thunder. It sparked his thoughtful moods, where he would come up to the third floor of the school and sit in the alcove at the end of the corridor. It was a Saturday, and most people had gone home for the weekend. To their families, who actually missed them and wanted them around. He thought of his own family; cold, distant, disappointed in him. He sighed. He wished he had a loving father, like Kurt, or a mother like Thad's, who would send the boy baked goods and letters constantly. She could text him but no, she chose to write everything by hand, the scent of her perfume lingering on the pages.

Wes and David were, of course, together. They were inseparable and while Blaine knew he was completely welcome to be around them – they were his best friends, after all, he knew that he would never have the bond the two boys shared. Nick and Jeff had opted to stay for the weekend, but again, he couldn't intrude there. The boys were celebrating their one year anniversary and Blaine couldn't imagine he'd be welcome to tag along.

He thought back to Kurt, who was in his room, choosing not to go back to Lima this weekend. He would be flipping through a Vogue magazine, singing along to show tunes in his room, completely content with being alone. He didn't want to interrupt the boy, especially right now.

Blaine thought about Kurt. He didn't know how he felt about him right now. They were very close friends, that much was obvious, but his feelings were sitting precariously on the tip of something more. He wasn't sure if he liked him. He admired him, of course, and he thought he was the most beautiful person he'd ever lay eyes on, but he didn't know. He was confused.

Kurt was amazing; he'd decided that a long, long time ago. He was strong, and he was talented and he was wonderful. He'd been the best friend Blaine had ever had and he'd unknowingly helped him through so many of his own issues. He just... wasn't sure.

'Blaine?'

The voice was soft, calling from down the hallway. Blaine looked up and saw Kurt standing awkwardly, shifting from foot to foot. His heart gave an unexpected flop but he disregarded it immediately. He smiled at Kurt.

'Hey, Kurt,' he replied, voice floating down the hall, 'come sit.'

Kurt walked towards him slowly and then sat opposite him, drawing his own knees up to his chest.

'Wes told me you'd be up here,' Kurt explained, cheeks tinged pink, 'I hope I'm not intruding.'

No. Just Blaine and his thoughts, and he found that he didn't mind Kurt interrupting at all. The boy smiled hopefully at him and Blaine could feel that something was different. Something had changed.

'You're not intruding,' he assured him, his voice curiously quiet, as though he didn't dare break the fragile air between them, 'I was just thinking, you know?'

There was a silence and Kurt nodded.

'What were you thinking about?' Kurt asked eventually, cocking his head to the side.

Blaine shrugged, 'sometimes... I feel small.'

Kurt smiled at this, 'you are a little small, Blaine.'

Blaine felt his cheeks colour and he shook his head.

'Not like that. Not physically.' he replied, 'just... small.'

'Like on the inside?' Kurt asked, his tone soft and understanding. Blaine nodded.

'I don't know what I'm going to do when I graduate,' he confessed, chuckling softly, 'I have no plans. My parents expect big things from me but... I don't want what they do. I want my music and I want to fend for myself. I – I don't want law school like David, or medical school like Wes. I don't know what I'm going to do.'

'I get that too,' Kurt told him, 'I – I want Broadway but... those are just dreams. I don't know what kind of talent there is out there. I don't know how big my shot is. I'm scared to graduate, Blaine. I'm scared of what's waiting for me out in the real world.'

Blaine's expression softened and he looked at Kurt, really looked at him. His glasz eyes were shining and he suddenly looked small, too. He looked insecure. He looked like what Blaine had been feeling.

But then Kurt reached over, patted Blaine's knee, his eyes boring directly into his.

'Don't ever feel small, Blaine,' he told him quietly, 'don't you dare. You're so much more than what you think you are. You're so talented and you're an amazing person. Whatever you choose to do with your life, you'll be perfect at.'

And then Blaine knew. It wasn't a sudden, jarring revelation. It was as though something had been woken inside him, something that said, _what have you been waiting for?_

Blaine Anderson had feelings for Kurt Hummel. Feelings far beyond friendship. He became very aware of the hand, still resting gently on his knee. He cleared his throat, holding Kurt's gaze.

'You're beautiful, Kurt,' he breathed, 'you'll make it wherever you want to. You don't have anything to be afraid of.'

Kurt sighed and lifted his hand from Blaine's knee, leaning back. Blaine felt himself miss the feel of his hand resting there, his eyes following the hand as it drummed against the seat softly.

'I'll be alone, you know?' Kurt's eyes suddenly filled with tears and he blinked them away quickly, 'I'll be on my own and – and I don't know how I'd manage. I'm all for being independent and all, but at the end of the day, it would be nice to come home to someone. A friend, a lover... anyone. I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone.'

Blaine's heart crumbled and he looked at Kurt sadly, 'you're never going to be alone, Kurt. You've got me.'

Kurt smiled at him and a small silence settled, both the boys looking at the rain outside thoughtfully.

'I love the rain,' Kurt mused after a moment, 'it makes me feel so safe.'

Blaine hummed in agreement, watching the drops streak down the window, 'it's cuddle weather. It's beautiful.'

'If it's cuddle weather, why aren't we cuddling?' Kurt asked, his voice light and teasing. Blaine felt his heart skip at the words and he shrugged, suddenly feeling nervous. Kurt smiled softly and held out his arms.

Blaine then found himself crawling across the seat, settling into Kurt's embrace. It was a tight fit, both of them squashed into the one side, but Blaine could feel Kurt's heart beating and the soothing sound of the rain and decided that he'd never felt more safe, more comfortable before.

Kurt's hand traced light patterns onto Blaine's arm absentmindedly, still staring out the window. Blaine felt his heart in his throat, wondering if maybe, just maybe, Kurt felt the same.

'It's weather like this that makes you wish you had a significant other.' Blaine pondered aloud bravely. He felt Kurt's breathing hitch slightly.

'It's a little depressing when the person you wish was your significant other was totally oblivious to your feelings,' Kurt replied, sounding glum. Blaine pulled away from the embrace a little, twisting his head to look at Kurt.

'I didn't know you had feelings for anyone.'

Kurt sighed, 'it's just a fantasy, of course. There's no way he feels the same.'

Blaine now completely pulled away and turned so that he was facing Kurt, his heart hammering both hopefully and jealously.

'Who – who is it?' he asked, not daring to get his hopes up too high. Kurt smiled softly and looked away.

'It doesn't matter.' he replied, 'it's – there's no point talking about it.'

Blaine then took a deep breath, deciding quickly, 'I also have feelings for someone.'

Kurt then looked back at him, looking interested. His eyes shone slightly, whether with hope or with curiosity, Blaine didn't know.

'Who is it?' Kurt asked gently. Blaine didn't quite meet his eyes, biting his lip softly.

'I – it's just this guy,' Blaine replied, shrugging, 'well, not _just_ a guy – he's pretty incredible.'

Kurt's expression fell slightly at Blaine's words, but he continued anyway, 'although he – he likes someone. I don't know who it is, though.'

Kurt nodded understandingly, 'sounds like you're in a bit of a predicament.'

Blaine nodded, averting his gaze._ Like you wouldn't believe, _he thought.

'If a guy liked me... I'd want him to tell me,' Kurt told him suddenly, eyes glinting once more, 'I'd want him to just... you know, be a man about it. No secrets.'

Blaine blanched slightly at the words – he couldn't tell Kurt. He wasn't brave enough and he most _certainly _wasn't desirable enough to have Kurt reciprocate his feelings. He shifted nervously, nodding at Kurt's words.

'I admire that in people,' Kurt was saying, '_courage_. Like you taught me, Blaine. I know it may take a lot of strength to lay your heart on the line and admit it, but... I would do it. I would do that for someone I cared about.'

Was he hinting at something? Blaine had no idea, but he felt his stomach tumble uncomfortably. He had to tell him now – he had to lay everything on the line.

Kurt was worth the pain.

'Kurt...' he started nervously. Kurt looked at him, staring deep into his eyes.

'Yes, Blaine?' his voice was a whisper.

Blaine bit his lip, hesitating, 'I – I...'

'What is it, Blaine?'

Blaine sighed helplessly, 'I can't say it. I'm – I'm not strong enough. I don't know how to tell you.'

There was an uncomfortable silence, which Kurt broke after a few moments.

'Show me.'

His voice was quiet, pleading. Blaine looked at him, heart hammering in his chest. Kurt was staring at him expectantly, waiting. Blaine took a deep, calming breath before leaning forward and pressing his lips to Kurt's softly.

The kiss was gentle, innocent. It lasted only a few moments, before Blaine drew back shakily, his body trembling. Kurt looked equally stunned. There had been something there. Something neither of them had felt before. Blaine felt both lightheaded and heavy, hot and cold. He felt as though his brain were a puddle, but like his heart had never pounded more soundly in his chest.

'I like you, Kurt,' he breathed, 'so much.'

Kurt's face split into a nervous, flustered grin. His eyes were sparkling, clear and beautiful as ever.

'I like you, too.' he replied shyly.

Blaine hesitated slightly before kissing Kurt again, this time more lovingly and passionately than before. Kurt felt his breath leave him in a second and he relished the taste of him – coffee and candy and something so distinctly _Blaine_. It was an addictive taste, and when Blaine pulled away, his lips were burning.

Blaine then laughed, sounding relieved.

'I thought you liked someone else,' he admitted sheepishly, 'it was a horrible thought. I'm so, so glad you feel the same.'

Kurt laughed breathlessly, 'I've liked you for a long time, Blaine. You were never really good at picking up on those things.'

Blaine smiled at him, really smiled.

'I'm glad I did now,' he replied, taking one of Kurt's hands in his, 'because you – you are amazing, Kurt. I need someone like you. No... I need _you_. I need you for days like this. I need you to hold my hand and – and hug me... and kiss me. I need you to laugh with and to cry with... you're exactly what I need.'

Kurt's heart turned to mush then and he felt it was more difficult to breathe than before.

'I thought you were hopeless at romance,' he breathed, heart speeding up an unhealthy amount.

Blaine shrugged, 'I'm not trying to be romantic. It's just... it's what my heart wants.'

Kurt then found himself kissing Blaine desperately, shoving him back against the opposite wall. He poured whatever he could into the kiss – the pain, the pent up emotions, the months of waiting. He couldn't believe that this was Blaine, really Blaine, his lips moving against his just as frantically. His heart was soaring, he felt himself practically melt into Blaine's arms. Suddenly, the need for oxygen overtook him and he pulled away, cursing his need for air.

He rested his forehead against Blaine's, waited for his breathing to steady. Blaine was as oxygen deprived as he was, but he wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist and pulled him down and held him tightly, watching the rain out the window, his heart beating in sync with Kurt's.

They didn't speak after that. They didn't have to. They watched the rain in silence, enjoying the feel of each other's arms, the feel of their hearts beating in unison.

And suddenly, Blaine didn't feel so small. He had the world in his arms.


End file.
